Miraculous Spring

It's almost a miracle that we have such an early Spring.  In this city we rarely get Spring at all.  March can still bring us snow and April drags on, rainy and cold and depressing until May which is usually pleasant but I've been to plenty of May weddings (and even some in June) where the weather can be cool and overcast and  I've seen plenty of shivering brides posing for pictures.  Not this year, however!  March began like a lion but it's not only going out like a lamb, it's like a flock of them!  Temperatures are in the low to mid-seventies these days, my garden is showing great signs of life and I've seen dozens of robins.  All of which means -and you can't fool me! -  it's Spring!

I'm continuing to train for my upcoming race and I'm still finding it very difficult to get back into running mode.  My legs feel like lead and my breath just doesn't flow.  I'm back to feeling like a smoker again, like I did at the beginning.  I'm sure if I went back to read my first boot camp journal I would see that I found running difficult at first but then I quickly adapted.  I think it was by about week eight that I found all the parts fitting together.  The problem is, I don't have eight weeks.  I've stepped up my running schedule to twice a week and have (I think) lengthened the running intervals though it's hard to tell without a stop watch and I do tire quickly.  By the last interval this morning I was feeling less weary but I also cut the full length of the run by 10 minutes.

While running I was finally beginning to feel some of the clarity of mind I remember running used to give me.  Once I stopped thinking about the discomfort in my body the thoughts flowed freely and I became one with the music I was listening to on my IPod.  I always try to keep it upbeat and inspirational.  This morning I heard the following:   "Don't give up/ You've got a reason to live/Can't forget you only get what you give".  It's from a one-hit wonder band called the New Radicals.  It speaks to me.  I have to give it more, with or without time.

Slow and Painful

The only way to describe what running feels like after a four month respite is to refer to the title of this post.
Let's take into account the strong headwind off the lake, the fact that I desperately need new shoes and that there were far too many people out on the boardwalk enjoying the early Spring weather.  When all that is taken into consideration it might show why I found 5K so incredibly difficult to run but I think the real reason lies with inactivity and a five pound weight gain.

I had a training session this morning with my new trainer which I was almost too tired to get all the way through.  He told me that my intervals of running to walking should have been equal, or even allowed for greater resting time between running intervals, so instead of running for two minutes and walking for one as I did, it should have been 2:2.  Live and learn.  All I know is, instead of being able to sprint the last half kilometer I nearly passed out.  This is going to be a long, slow road.

Things Change

Blogger didn't like my browser any more so until I figured out what it did like I've been unable to post anything here.  Or rather, I did post two new entries this year but Blogger ate them.  Someone responded to one of them and to that someone I say "Sorry.  I hope you'll post again".

Here's where things stand: one broken wrist, now healing; one new trainer and one new gym membership, very expensive.  No weigh-ins at Weight Watchers since early December; too lazy.

Despite everything I'm maintaining my 65-pound weight loss.  I've come to understand that I eat according to a plan and rarely deviate from it so I don't gain weight.  I've also managed to develop sufficient muscle mass that I burn calories efficiently.

The new trainer has me on a regime which is totally new and extremely creative, taking me from the ground up, so to speak.  For the first two weeks I never got off the mat.  The exercises seem to have their roots in Pilates and are structured to help restore my stability and sense of balance.  They are designed to make me a better runner, which is great news because I've signed up for Harry's Spring Run-off again for April.

I'm working hard at physiotherapy with a chiropractor who owns the new gym.  I feel guilty for abandoning Dr. Wade but this guy has helped design my new fitness regime and for that I'll pay big money.  Insurance may take care of some of it.

Some time in the next few weeks I have to find a scale and check on my weight but everything seems to be holding steady and all clothes still fit.  If they don't I can buy more from my new job.  Who knew I would wind up working in the fashion industry?  Whatever.  I like it.  I no longer have to feel responsible for anyone except myself.  I felt way too much pressure in the past to help others get where I did.  It can't be done.  They need to get there themselves.

Back to Basics

It's been a while.

A painful experience has put me back almost at the beginning, training-wise, thanks to a fractured wrist.  I slipped on the ice at the end of the year and broke my right wrist.  It's the first time I've been so incapacitated. Being right-handed and possessing a low pain threshold I was rendered almost helpless.

I spent just short of five weeks in a cast,.  During this time I think Higgie discovered just how much stuff I really  do around the house when every task, including cooking fell to him.  Consequently, I have a very untidy house with floors that haven't been mopped in weeks and dust everywhere but Higgie's knife skills have improved.

Walking the dog (which was what I was doing when the accident occurred) has been a challenge; I have to tie her leash to my belt loop to keep her from pulling too hard.  Walking is the only activity I have been able to enjoy, however and Lily and I have had some wonderful long walks together while I did some soul-searching about the nature of injuries and how they affect us.  I had to return the beautiful fashionable winter boots I had purchased and get ones I could put on with one hand.  I also bought traction devices to attach to the soles so I would have more grip (and confidence) when walking.

The cast came off yesterday and I am stiff and sore this morning but having it removed has enabled me to type almost as well as I ever could, which isn't very well at all..  I begin physiotherapy today at a new clinic located where my old gym used to be.  It's a combination gym and health centre and to that end I'm going to purchase a short-term membership so that they can integrate my physio into a fitness program for me.  Other than walking I've done no fitness regime since the accident and have been forced to monitor my food intake very carefully to avoid weight gain.  Even so, I think I have put on a few pounds.  I also know I've lost considerable strength and agility.  So, it's back to basics.  Will it be like starting all over again?  We'll see.

If It Works....

Paranoia.  That's all I can describe it as.  I keep thinking I've gained weight.  Not owning a scale or having ready access to one like I used to makes me constantly wonder about my weight.  People say, 'Go by how your clothes are fitting,' but that doesn't work for me because some have stretch fibres and some don't.  What if they're fresh out of the dryer?  Some days my jeans feel tight and others not.  The jeans have no stretch.  My sweats, which normally hang off me. were tight when I put them on the other night.

Why am I so obsessed with a number?  Where does weight gain begin?  In my opinion, it's when you stop paying attention.  Two pounds becomes five, and so it goes.  Since the end of boot camp I haven't had a lot of activity except for walking in our very hilly neighbourhood.  Therefore, it's fair to assume that I'm not burning calories as I ought to or once did.

So, with all this in mind I finally got myself back to the club to begin my winter work out routine.  I made it there twice last week for two 30 minute power work outs and weighed myself on the ancient triple beam balance scale in the ladies' room.  It told me good news; that I was two pounds below goal.  I also finally made it to a Weight Watchers meeting where I weighed in at one pound below goal.

What this all points to are several things: 1.) I'm paranoid, but a bit of healthy paranoia never hurt anyone who wants to maintain a significant weight loss.  2.) I have developed sufficient muscle mass that I go on burning calories even when I'm not involved in strenuous activity.  3.) Parts of me (like my bum) may have lost some muscle tone so my pants fit differently -i.e- my body has changed shape.

But most importantly, I have to remember that I have developed a pattern of eating from which I don't deviate.  If my portion sizes remain the same and the type of meals and snacks don't vary too much, if I limit the number of Christmas treats, then weight gain will not be an issue.  In other words, I need to have faith in a system that works which I set in place years ago.  Like the saying goes, 'If it works, don't fix it'. 

Which is not to say I don't need to move more.  Off to the gym.

It's Over

Sadly, boot camp has ended for another year.  On Wednesday we concede to the fact that the weather is just not going to allow us to continue so I will pack away my long-sleeved shirts and look for a way to continue training indoors.  We may purchase some personal training sessions and train once a week at the weight lifters gym we went to last year.  We have also renewed our membership at the Balmy Beach club so we can use the fitness room there.  Once again, a new fitness facility is opening on the site of my old gym.  I'll investigate it as well.  I'm walking more and more.  And there'll be skiing!  So I won't be sitting still.  I'm also thinking about participating in the 'Hair of the Dog' run on New Years Day sponsored by the Balmy Beach club.  It's a 9K run which starts at noon so it gives me plenty of time to wake up on New Years Day.

I'm going for a weigh in on Saturday and to hear about the changes that have been made to the Weight Watchers program.  Since reaching Lifetime status I don't often go to meetings anymore and I rarely count points unless it's a new food.  I've been eating roughly the same amount and types of foods for five years now so they should definitely keep me where I want to stay as long as my activity level remains high.  Have I discovered the secret to weight loss?  Who knew it was as simple as eat healthy foods in small amounts and move more?

Am I the Same Girl?

In near-freezing temperatures, once again with very little sleep, I ventured out for boot camp this morning.  It was hill training day and we chose a street in the neighbourhood with a short, steep slope.  I set a goal for myself to run it six times and I'm happy to report that I did it. 

While running I heard this song on my IPod.  I have a fondness for old R&B and it has a nice steady beat for running to.  When you get to the chorus you'll see where the title for this post comes from.  As I felt my muscles warming up and my whole body rising to the challenge of tackling the hill I heard my brain responding to the chorus; 'Am I the same girl?  Yes, I am, yes I am'.  And I am.  I'm the same girl who used to feel victorious after tackling a hill, finishing a race or doing an hour's training.  I feel like I've lost touch with that girl but she's still there.

To that end, I have to go back and do what worked before.  I think I've gained a few pounds so I want to return to a Weight Watchers meeting, not just for the weigh-in, but to touch base with all my weight loss buddies and remember that I'm still the same girl who likes a few more bevvies than is good for her and who thinks she's smarter than any weight loss program.  So, this Saturday will find me where it used to be, with bum on seat at the meeting where I first began losing weight nearly five years ago.  I'm looking forward to seeing some of the people I used to know and being inspired by their stories.  I'll try very hard to put the past where it belongs and retain only what is relevant to my moving forward.  It's all I can do.