Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I'm Human

It's been a month since I last posted here and I wish I had more to report than the simple discovery that I am, after all, only human.  I've been letting my training slip by not making it to my Sunday walking group.  Boot camp has been rained out a lot, as well as the fact that I was on holiday for a week.  I have no idea what I weigh, having skipped weekly weigh-ins now for several weeks.  Where is all this taking me, I wondered?

Yesterday at boot camp I gave a dismal performance.  I ran the first warm-up mile just fine; better than fine, I thought, but the subsequent ten minutes of interval training left me weak, breathless and so exhausted that I could barely do any strength training.  It is not like me to wimp out on things like push-ups or pull-ups but I found I just had no strength.  The trainer said I had burned out doing the warm-up mile too quickly but I didn't think so.

The previous night had found me up several times cleaning up after the puppy.  I think Lily ate something in the garden, like a Gladiola bulb.  We were cleaning up the garden on Sunday afternoon getting ready for winter and one of the little offset bulbs may have landed on the ground when I pulled them up.  Everything she finds on the ground goes in her mouth.  All I know is, now I have two rugs to shampoo.  At 2:00 a.m. you do NOT want to do what I was doing.  So that's where the tiredness could have come from.

The other problem is asthma.  I was first diagnosed with it about 15 years ago when I still smoked.  Asthma induced by smoking would suggest to me that it involves permanent damage, but I went off my meds voluntarily this summer because I felt so well I decided I didn't need them anymore.  My doctor was cautious and suggested I should just have one puff of my inhaler per day but I didn't even do that.  Lately I have noticed a 'heaviness' or feeling of obstruction in my bronchi.  I know this means I need my meds.  While on holiday, the extreme humidity and dampness in certain parts of Bermuda meant that I had to rely heavily on my asthma meds and the tightness and obstruction quickly went away.  Now it's back.

So, yesterday, on returning from boot camp I fell into bed, not even bothering to shower and dozed for a few hours.  I woke up feeling none the better.  I took Lily out for a walk.  I thought some gentle walking and fresh air might help.  Foolishly, I let her off the leash and she took off.  Round and round the baseball diamond she ran, score imaginary home run after home run.  She ran under the bleachers and hid from every attempt I made to put her leash back on.  She drank from every puddle.  I couldn't run after her (and it would have only made matters worse) and I was becoming upset and even more breathless when a young man and his Golden Retriever appeared and helped bring her back to me.  On the way home I was so exhausted I was almost crying.

Once home Lily vomited puddle water three times, once on the living room rug which had received other of her ministrations the night before.  I figured I had better deal with the rug while the sun was still shining so I wrestled it out on to the front porch to steam-clean it, nearly passing out in the process.  I have a mini steam cleaner which meant I had to squat or crouch while using it.  That involved much huffing and puffing on my part and when I was done I felt a bit shaky.

I wobbled back into the house and collapsed on the couch.  I tearfully asked myself "What's wrong with me?" and the answer came loudly and clearly; "You're sick, you dummy!"  And so it was that I conceded that gee, maybe I'm not well. 

Last night I went to bed at 8:30 p.m.  This morning I woke up at 9:30 a.m. when HIggie suggested that maybe thirteen hours of sleep was more than enough.  I do feel better but it's going to be a slow and cautious recovery.  And yes, I am taking my meds.  My asthma is NOT cured, I am not superwoman, and I will, occasionally let my training slide or even gain a few pounds.  I'm human.  So shoot me.

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